Boy I can’t wait to pick up some Burger King and smoke weed when I get home.
Did you see on Lost when earth did the biggest bong rip off Jacob’s brother?
My mom is amazing and Polish which already makes her better than all your moms and gay dads. My mom has won nearly a thousand radio contests and just saw Michael McDonald at the casino for free. No woman in my life has put up with my shit more than my mother. Unlike all the other women I’ve met, my mother has never asked me for any money at all (?!). Identical to Criss Angel, this is a total MNDFRK because now I spend most of day working for a time when I can spoil the shit out of her. My mom is the type of woman who will let me date retards and wait to tell me after we break up that she was garbage. She also became my biggest critic when I made fake IDs in high school. If there was one thing I can be thankful for the most, it’s that my mom would tell me “You can do whatever you want but if you get arrested, I won’t bail you out and you won’t do it again.” So while my parents could never afford to give me a dime, they spoiled me with letting me get away with being a total idiot without pressing a single Jesus on me. For that, I thank them. But my mom is the most creative and confident individual I know and she will support me with whatever bad decision I make next with my life and I’ll keep calling her at work telling her I need x-rays of my butt and ask if anyone shit on the x-ray table today. All of this is out of my unconditional love for her and also in spite of her passing down the quality of working myself to death and striving to be the absolute best in the world at everything. Sometimes I still tackle my mom for no reason.
i want to do a somersault naked in space
Google “Regis donkey dick”